


Show Me

by StackerPentecost



Series: Teach Me [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Zombies, Alternate Universe - Sex Shop, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Porn, Dildos, Felching, Lace Panties, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Rimming, Sex Toys, Sexting, Stripping, Switching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-04 02:48:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14010498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StackerPentecost/pseuds/StackerPentecost
Summary: Rick has his first date with Negan and as predicted, things quickly become heated.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ta da! You ask and you shall receive! I hope you guys enjoy this, it took me more than a week and is probably the single longest chapter I've ever written.  
> And for anyone curious all of these sex toys exist except the bi and pan colored dildos, I did my fucking research. Yes, that means you can actually purchase a rainbow dong. Do with this what you will.  
> I also plan for another installment in this series.

“What do you mean you can’t come?”

Daryl shoved another Cheeto into his mouth. Paul had been trying to get him to eat better, especially considering cooking for himself was not an issue, but Daryl had a thing for the simple pleasures in life. Like a party sized bag of Cheetos and Pepsi. Paul sat beside him, hair in one long braid today, wrinkling his nose. He had a premade salad in front of him and an Arnold Palmer. They all sat at one of the tables in the campus dining hall. Rick had enough money to his name to get a decent lunch today, which consisted of a sub and a green can of Monster.

“I told you, I’m busy. I’m sorry I can’t make movie night.”

“But we’re watching both John Wick movies to celebrate the start of shooting for the third one.”

Rick sighed. “I know, and as much as I’m going to miss seeing Keanu’s cute ass and top notch assassin skills, Baba Yaga is just gonna have to wait.”

“But why? Besides work and class, you don’t go anywhere.” Paul pointed out, sipping from his lemonade and tea monstrosity.

Rick found himself blushing faintly. “I-I uh..I sorta met someone..”

Daryl nearly choked on a Cheeto and Paul just tilted his head in that odd, observing way of his. Daryl grabbed his Pepsi and chugged until he could breathe again.

“Say again?”

“I met someone and we happen to have plans.”

“And who is this someone exactly?”

Rick chewed his lip. They were his friends, he could be honest with them, couldn’t he?

“Well, he’s a guy. He’s..older. Experienced. And uh..” Rick coughed into his fist as he quickly blurted out, “He has a sex shop.”

Daryl froze, mid-chew. Paul didn’t seem fazed, as usual.

“So you took my advice?” He inquired.

Rick nodded. “Yeah, I did actually. Negan is very helpful..and enthusiastic.” He ducked his head.

“So you slept with him?” Paul asked, casually spearing a kale leaf with his spork.

Daryl slowly turned to glare at his boyfriend before glancing back at Rick. He didn’t have to answer the question, it was obvious from his expression.

“You did, didn’t you?”

Rick fidgeted, running his thumb through the condensation on the can of his energy drink. “Maybe, so what?”

“Nothing, it’s just..you usually don’t do things like that. You’re very..straight laced, Rick.”

Rick huffed. “Just because I’m not wild and don’t openly talk about my sex life often,” He looked pointedly at Paul before continuing, “doesn’t mean I’m not a little..adventurous now and then. And Negan..he’s different. He’s charming and funny and in your face and without filter. He’s like nobody I’ve ever met.”

Daryl seemed to contemplate this for a moment. In the end, he just wanted Rick to be happy and Rick definitely looked happy when he talked about being with Negan.

“Alright man, it’s cool if you’ve got a date. We’ll have to make movie night for some other night. Right, Paul?”

Paul nodded in agreement, a smile on his face. “Of course. Have fun with your new man, Rick. Let us know how it goes. I’m sure Daryl and I can find some things to do with our free time.” He leaned to rub his bearded chin against Daryl’s cheek. Daryl’s face scrunched up and he rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

* * *

 

Rick paced the length of his bedroom. He had approximately twenty minutes before he was expecting Negan to come and get him for their date. He was dressed from the waist up in a black button down with blue lines, his hair washed and perfectly combed. From the waist down he still had on an old pair of Bob’s Burgers boxers and some hole laden socks. He’d been staring at the most..revealing part of his outfit for the better part of an hour.

He couldn’t believe Negan had actually left this little gift for him on their first night together. He’d found it sitting on the counter in the bathroom after he’d gotten home from class that day, a little note with neat scrawl setting beside it. The note read,

_Sweet boy, I don’t know if you’ll even fucking like these, and if you don’t, it’s fucking fine by me. But if you do fucking like them, they’re yours. Maybe you could wear them when I see you again? They match your eyes. I’ll certainly be imagining you in them, Negan_

Well, Negan hadn’t been wrong, they sure did match his eyes. But was he really brave enough to wear a pair of lacy panties under his black pants? It wasn’t that he didn’t like them, they were made of quality lace, silky to the touch, a little bow on the front nothing compared to the four strings that tie into a bigger bow that would come to rest right at the cleft of his ass, leaving a revealing expanse of skin before the lace covered the rest of him. They were definitely sexy but not slutty.

Rick worried his lip, reaching out to touch the lace again. Finally, he sighed, making the decision to put them on. They were for Negan after all and he’d actually thought about wearing something like this a few times, so it didn’t make him uncomfortable in the least. His adventurous streak was continuing apparently. He stripped off his boxers and carefully pulled on the delicate garment before slipping into his pants and stepping into his boots.

It was about that time that there was a knock on the door. Rick swallowed thickly, checking his appearance in the mirror one last time before going to answer it.

Negan waited on the other side, looking as handsome as he always did. He was wearing a red dress shirt, something that a little out of place considering all the black he usually wore. He made up for it with black leather pants and his boots. Not a hair was out of place and his teeth couldn’t have been more perfect. Rick suddenly felt like what he was wearing wasn’t nearly enough.

“Hey there, sweetheart. It’s fucking great to see you again. I wonder if I’ve been on your mind as much as you’ve been on mine.” He reached for Rick’s hand and promptly placed a kiss there, grinning widely.

Rick ducked his head. “It’s really nice to see you again, Negan.”

“Thank you, sweetness. And don’t you look fucking perfect, as per fucking usual.” Negan straightened but didn’t drop Rick’s hand, instead threading their fingers together. It was an innocent gesture but it had Rick’s heart pounding.

“Shall we fucking go? I want to get across town before traffic gets too shitty.”

He gave Rick a chance to close and lock his apartment before they headed off down the hall.

“What do you mean? Aren’t we taking the subway or the bus?”

Negan wrinkled his nose as they walked down the stairs to the lobby of Rick’s apartment building. “For a date? No fucking way. Public transportation is so not sexy. Besides, I wanted to show you my baby, or rather, my baby besides the store.”

Rick hadn’t a clue what Negan was referring to until the man led him down the sidewalk, finally stopping in front of a jet black Harley. Rick inwardly smacked himself for being surprised. Of course Negan rode a motorcycle. No wonder he practically lived in leather.

Negan was grinning, admiring the bike the way a proud parent looked at their child. “Watcha think? Isn’t she just beautiful?”

Rick had to admit, it was an admirable machine. That didn’t stop the first sparks of fear from lighting up in his belly. “She sure is..shiny.”

Negan raised an eyebrow before letting out a laugh. “You’ve never ridden before, have you?”

Rick didn’t even bother trying to lie. “No. My parents frowned on anything this..dangerous.”

Negan snorted. “It’s only dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing and drive like like an asshole. Neither of which, if I may fucking say so, is something that describes me. Here, I even got you a helmet.”

Negan produced one helmet with what looked like the skull the Punisher wore on it and another blue one that had Captain America’s shield. He handed Rick the Captain America one.

“You into superheroes?” Rick wondered as he placed the thing on his head and tied the strap.

Negan shrugged. “Frank Castle isn’t a hero because of some special potion or some shit. And Cap was a good man even before he had powers. Nothing fucking wrong with trying to emulate some of the traits they display, right?”

Rick was inclined to agree. “And they’re both hot too, aren’t they?”

Negan grinned, straddling the bike after putting on his helmet. “You got that fucking right. Now come here sweetheart and get on behind me. Hold on tight, I don’t want you flying off the back because you’re afraid of touching me all over.”

Rick obeyed, clambering onto the bike before wrapping his arms securely around Negan’s torso. He resisted the urge to press his cheek against the other man’s back. He jumped a little when the bike roared to life. Negan dutifully checked the street before pulling out and just like that, they were whizzing past buildings and city blocks.

It was actually not as bad as Rick had been expecting. The hum beneath him wasn’t so loud once they got moving and they were moving swiftly, but not to the point where he thought Negan was going to end up killing them both. He kinda liked the wind blowing into his face and the warmth of Negan’s body pressed against his own. He was seeing parts of the city he missed when he took the subway and he couldn’t help feeling a little privileged. He was riding on the back of a motorcycle on a beautiful day through a nice part of the city with a beautiful older man who just so happened to be interested in him physically and maybe even in other ways too.

He was almost disappointed when they slowed and Negan stopped the bike in front of a upscale looking restaurant about a half hour’s drive from his apartment and the college campus. There were several tables set up outside in a makeshift patio, the umbrellas fastened to the middle of each setting offering some shade and blocking the harsh Georgia sun.

Negan carefully got off, removing his helmet. He offered Rick a hand to help him and took his helmet from him. “Here we fucking are. I found this place by fucking accident. I was looking for a goddamn coffee shop when I smelled the most fucking wonderful scent. Go ahead Rick, take a whiff.”

It was then that Rick noticed the scent in the air. It smelled wonderful, like sweet baking bread and the most delicious cooking meat. His stomach rumbled. Negan came up beside him and took his hand again, “Come on darling, I’ve already got us a table.”

When they entered, Rick was hit with a wave of cool air and even more tempting scents. Something smelled like sausage and he swore he was getting hints of lemon. The woman behind the hostess station immediately directed them into the restaurant, apparently already well familiar with Negan. The table they were given was set a little ways from the other guests and Negan even pulled out Rick’s chair for him to sit.

“I didn’t take you for such a romantic.” Rick commented with a soft smile as the other man sat down across from him.

“Oh I am fucking hopeless romantic, Rick. Lucky you, huh?”

Rick let out a chuckle. “Yeah, I suppose so.”

“Order whatever you want, darlin’, I don’t want you worrying about paying for a damn thing.”

Rick flushed faintly but nodded, knowing there was no point in arguing with Negan about something like that. Still, he decided he’d try and order something reasonably priced.

The waitress came and Negan promptly ordered a glass of wine. Rick tried to order something simpler with a bottle of beer, but Negan insisted they share a bottle of what he had ordered. And that was how Rick found himself drinking real wine for the first time in his life. It was completely new to him, other than the gross communion wine he’d drank on a dare from Daryl, back when they were teenagers and still living in their small town.

It had been easy enough to sneak into the local church and crack open a bottle. It had tasted awful, more dusty than anything else, but they’d managed to get away with four bottles between the two of them before the deacon came looking. They’d stolen home, drank most of it in one sitting and promptly spent the next day puking their collective guts out. It was a good thing Rick’s mother bought their lies and didn’t bother questioning the fact that they were both ill, convinced they’d caught the same stomach bug at school. Because if not, she would’ve told Rick’s father, who just happened to be a local sheriff and a good friend of the deacon. It wouldn’t have taken much for him to figure things out. Rick still couldn’t believe they’d gotten away with that one.

“What are you thinking about, sweetheart?”

Negan’s voice pulled him back to the present. He had stopped mid sip, the wine glass poised near his lips. “Oh uh, nothing. Just about something from when I was younger.”

Negan pursed his lips, tilting his head in question. “Well? You gonna fucking share with the class?”

So, Rick regaled the prank to his date, who seemed genuinely interested. He chuckled to himself, a smile on his lips. “My my, Rick. The more I learn about you, the more I fucking like you. You act all meek and mild but fuck, you are anything but, aren’t you?”

“I uh, I’m beginning to think not.” Rick admitted softly. He took a long gulp of wine. “If you’ll excuse me, I uh, need to use the restroom.” He quietly got up and left the table, leaving a slightly confused Negan behind him.

Rick pushed his way into the men’s room, breath coming in soft pants. Here he was again, about to do something lewd in a public bathroom. When had his life become like this? Rick decided not to spend too much time contemplating that. Instead he went and locked himself in one the stalls before he lost his nerve completely.

He reached down, undoing his pants and letting them slide off to pool at his ankles. He shivered at the sight of blue lace, retrieving his phone from his pocket. He was already getting hard, the thought of what he was going to do making his cock stiffen, pressing against the thin lace. He bit his lip and lifted the camera, wanting to get as much of himself like this as he could. He focused the shot on his backside though, knowing that would be what Negan would be most interested in.

After he sent the picture, Rick stepped out of the stall, trying to put himself back in his pants. He honestly didn’t expect the door to open as quickly as it did. He didn’t have to look up to know it was Negan. He heard the lock click into place before he approached.

“Oh I fucking knew you’d fucking like those. Fucking shit, I am a motherfucking genius.” Negan came from behind him, stilling Rick’s hands as they fiddled with the button on his pants. He pressed himself against Rick’s back, resting his chin on his shoulder. “Are you trying to tease me by coming in here and fucking doing that?”

Rick shook his head, unable to help the way goosebumps broke out all along his arms wherever Negan touched. “Well, yeah, I-I guess, but it’s not just that. I don’t..I told my friends that I had a date and they didn’t even fucking believe that I would do that. Then you tell me you see me the exact opposite of the way they do. I mean, I fucking love my friends man, but I’m not just some scared, vanilla, little fucking kid. Daryl should know that, but even he thinks I never do anything more interesting than studying or going to my job. It’s fucking stupid. But then..then I meet you and it’s like..I finally found somebody to show me just how to be a little fucking wild.”

He turned in Negan’s arms, aware that his pants were still open. He shivered softly when their lips brushed. “I want to fucking experience everything you have to offer. I want to fucking feel free for the first time since I came to live here. I wanna fucking show you how adventurous and fucking _feral_ , I can be.”

Negan’s eyes were bright as he listened to Rick, shining as he thought of all the things he could show this boy. He loved that despite still being a little timid, Rick was quickly breaking from his shell and showing that he’s always been a little untamed, despite what anyone else thought. And fuck, was Negan glad he was the reason that Rick was going through this change.

“I’ll fucking gladly show you it all, sweetheart. You and me, we can do anything. I wanna fucking show you every trick I’ve learned, show you that you don’t gotta be afraid to be who you fucking wanna be. Ain’t nothing wrong with a little wild side, darlin’.”

As if to prove his point, he openly licked over Rick’s bottom lip, the corners of his mouth curling into a smirk.

Rick surged forward then, groaning as their mouths collided, holding Negan close by his face, the other man’s stubble tickling his palms. Negan’s hands found their way into his pants, sliding down over his ass. “You’re wrapped like a goddamn Christmas present.” He growled, referring to the bow currently resting at the top of Rick’s backside.

“Yeah, and you’re the only one who gets to open your present.” Rick purred, thumbs grazing over Negan’s jaw. He pressed back into the other man’s touch, letting out a soft gasp when Negan’s hands slid beneath the lace to squeeze his bare ass.

“We better get out of here..” Negan’s voice had lowered several octaves, lust filling every word.

“As much as it would fucking hot as hell to take you right fucking here, you know I don’t like to share.” As if to prove his point, he leaned to nip at Rick’s neck, leaving several red teeth marks. Rick didn’t want anyone to ruin their fun either, so when Negan managed to extract himself, he quickly did his best to make himself look presentable. Not that he really cared all that much, as long as he got to have Negan back against him sooner rather than later.

They walked out hand in hand. Negan quickly apologized to the waitress, snatched the bottle of wine he ordered, paid their tab and left with Rick.

He gave Rick the bottle to hold on to while they rode in the opposite direction of the campus, which Rick found a little odd. He thought they’d end up back at his place again. Instead they drove for another fifteen minutes into a part of town Rick really wasn’t familiar with. They drove into the garage of an expensive looking high rise, parking the motorcycle in a spot reserved for tenants of the building. Rick swallowed nervously, feeling a little out of his element. Negan simply helped him off the bike before handing the keys off to an attendant in a booth near the entrance. They then headed for a bank of elevators, Rick still clutching the wine bottle.

“You live here?” He finally asked quietly when the elevators had slid shut. Negan wrapped an arm around him, pressing him to his side.

“I do. I didn’t always have such a nice place though. I was in your shoes in college, struggling just to eat, trying to make enough money for rent and tuition by working at a local bike shop. It wasn’t until I realized that I could do so much more and decided to pursue my dream of opening up the shop that things got better. I’d fucking found my calling. I do well enough now that I don’t have to fucking worry anymore. I even have time to design superhero themed toys and novelties for conventions and shit. Granted my booth always needs extra approval and you need ID like you do in the store to see any of it, but I still do good business and it’s one of the more popular setups at the shows.”

He looked down at Rick. “But don’t you go fucking thinking that I think less of you because you’re not well off. No fucking college kid is unless you’re born into money. It doesn’t make me want you any fucking less.”

Rick smiled softly. “Will you show me some of your hero designs?”

Negan straightened, chest puffing out proudly. “I’d be fucking happy to.”

The elevator dinged softly and the doors slid open, revealing a hallway with one door in it directly across from the elevator. They weren’t on the penthouse floor, at least, Rick didn’t think so. If he remembered correctly, Negan had pressed the number for floor fifteen.

The older man crossed the hall and produced a key, unlocking the door. He opened the door and stepped aside, allowing Rick to enter first. “Welcome to my home sweet home, darlin’.”

Rick swallowed nervously, taking in everything before him. Predictably there was a lot of black, but it wasn’t in bad taste. There were rich woods to accompany the black tile and the whole room had soft lighting, give it an ethereal glow. Rugs colored richly in reds purples were beneath plush leather furniture. Off to his left he could see into the kitchen, which had tones of gray and steel and looked to be a any chef’s wet dream. To his right there were several doors, one of which opened into what looked like the master bedroom. He assumed the master bathroom was off of that. He could only imagine the opulence in that room. And the view, there were large windows directly in front of him, overlooking all the hustle and bustle of the city. He imagined it would be something magical to see at night.

 

Rick felt like he’d just walked into someone’s mansion. It was by far the nicest place he’d ever had the privilege of visiting.

“It’s beautiful.” He murmured honestly, looking back at Negan, who had closed the door and was shrugging out of his leather jacket.

He placed it reverently on a hook by the door before turning to face Rick “Thank you, sweetheart, but I’m sure you didn’t fucking let me bring you here just because you wanted to get a look at where I live, am I right or am I fucking right?”

Rick flushed faintly but eagerly allowed himself to be led to the bedroom by the hand. He let out a soft gasp as he entered the other man’s room. It was just as beautiful as the rest of the place, the canopy bed with jet black silken sheets dominating the space. But this part of the house had personal touches. A large framed Captain America recruitment poster hung on one wall. A vintage looking print of the Punisher hung on another wall. One whole wall was nothing but bookshelves, packed to the gills with volumes. There were two doors to his right, one of which was the bathroom as he could see an expansive tub and glass doored shower, but the other was closed he wondered what lay behind it. He noticed a closet to his left and a large flat screen was near the door he’d come in, mounted on the wall. All in all, Rick wouldn’t mind staying in a room like this.

“Oh I am gonna fucking enjoy showing you my little bag of tricks.” Negan purred, pulling Rick from his thoughts, reaching past the boy to close the bedroom door. Rick smiled as he was promptly pulled against Negan’s firm form, the older man’s hands beginning to roam again. He leaned to drag his lips across Rick’s jaw, loving the way the faint stubble scraped against his skin.

“You are in for such a fucking treat, darlin’.” He hummed, nipping on Rick’s ear before he kissed down his neck, dragging his tongue over the pale flesh. Rick moaned softly when Negan bit, enough to leave a mark but not enough to really hurt him. He loved the fact that Negan’s behavior was growing slightly possessive, the tokens of his affection multiplying.

As Negan lifted his head and found Rick’s lips again, he found Rick pressing a hand to his chest, putting space between them. He blinked, not liking this new turn of events. Rick must’ve seen the expression on his face because he quickly smiled warmly, pressing hard on Negan’s chest until the other man got the message and started to back up. He moved until the back of his legs hit the bed and Rick guided him so he was sitting. Negan tilted his head, a questioning look on his features.

“What are you up to, sweetness?”

Rick stepped back, chewing his lip. “Just giving you a little show. Can I do that?”

Realizing what Rick had mind, Negan grinned, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “Be my fucking guest, sweetheart.”

Rick was honestly glad that this man gave him such confidence because he had no idea what he was doing almost all the time when they were together. He hadn’t had a bad moment yet and didn’t expect any, but he still felt like he was flying by the seat of his pants most of the time, finally giving in to the thoughts and desires that ran through his head on a daily basis.

“Don’t expect me to dance like a stripper, because I can’t dance to save my life and uh..sorry, if this isn’t sexy..”

“Shhhh, hey now.” Negan got up and came to press a kiss to Rick’s mouth, resting his hands on his hips. “None of that. You don’t gotta be a damn professional to make me fucking happy. Just do what you’re comfortable with. I ain’t gonna force you to do jack shit, you know that, right?”

Negan made a point of looking into Rick’s eyes as he said this, needing to see his response. Rick nodded immediately, seeing how important this was to Negan.

“Yeah,” He murmured softly, “yeah, I know that, I promise.”

Negan seemed pleased at this, giving him another, lingering kiss.

“Can I do what I said I was gonna?” Rick asked after they parted and Negan was more than happy to return to his seat on the bed.

The boy took a deep breath, beginning to unbutton his shirt. His hands shook only slightly as he let it fall open, his hips beginning to sway back and forth to a beat only he could hear. Negan watched the movement with rapt attention as Rick’s hands slid the shirt off to reveal one tanned shoulder and then the other. He ran his hands down his flat stomach, wishing that he a little more definition on that part of him. He let the shirt slip off of him, reaching to touch his chest, thumbing over each nipple. That small touch was enough to have his cock react, blood rushing downward. His hands drifted lower and he bit his lip, massaging over the growing bulge in his pants. Negan was breathing heavily by now, eyes squarely on Rick’s crotch.

“There you go baby, fucking touch yourself for me.”

Rick kept that up for a good few moments before he undid the button and the zipper, revealing blue lace beneath. If the skimpy thing had barely covered him before, it certainly didn’t cover him now. The tip of his cock peeked above the lace, the head already glistening with precome. Rick stepped out his boots and pushed them aside with his foot, still swaying his hips slowly to the beat in his head.

By now Negan felt like he was a man dying of water. His hands ached to touch Rick but he also longed to see where this would go, wanted to see what this beautiful boy had in store just for him. So he remained still, and tried to ignore the way his cock had begun to throb. He watched as Rick turned so he was facing away, slipping his thumbs into his belt loops and carefully sliding the fabric down.

“Fuckity fucking hell, sweet boy, just fucking look at you..” Negan breathed, as Rick’s lace clad backside was revealed. The bow had him wrapped up like a goddamn present, possibly the best present Negan had ever received. The lace cupped his ass like it was painted on and with the way he kept moving, swaying and swinging his hips, it was like Rick was purposefully trying to get him to blow right then and there like it was his first time all over again. He reached a hand down and tried to relieve some of the ache, subtly grinding his hips forward.

The pants were finally dropped, pooling on the floor and allowing Rick to step out of them. He slowly turned back around then, face and upper body flushed pink. He took in Negan’s form, eyes lingering on his obvious arousal.

“I can’t believe I affect you so much..” Rick admitted softly, like he couldn’t believe someone found him that attractive.

“Of course you fucking do, Rick. Do you ever look in the fucking mirror?”

Rick immediately shook his head. “No..I uh, I don’t actually. I uh, I know I’m nothing to look at.”

Negan looked at him like he’d suddenly grown an extra head and a tail. “What in the fuck makes you think that absolute fucking bullshit?” He was on his feet in a moment.

Rick shrugged, looking down at his hands. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve always felt that way. Back home it was no big deal, nobody was really anything special, but here? Everyone is amazing. Everyone is beautiful and talented and put together and I’m anything but.”

Negan let out a huff, wrapping his arms around Rick and steering him over to a full length mirror that was mounted on the wall next to a dresser. The younger man ducked his head once he caught sight of himself in the reflection.

“Why do you look away?” Negan murmured in his ear. “Do you really dislike yourself that much that you can’t even look?”

Rick swallowed thickly, a lump forming into his throat. “I’m sorry..” He felt guilty, like he’d opened Negan’s eyes to a huge flaw. Would it change how Negan saw him? Rick felt his stomach twist with worry.

Negan let out a deep sigh, seeing Rick was starting to retreat from him. He pulled Rick closer against his chest, leaning to nuzzle the boy’s cheek affectionately. “You don’t have to feel like that with me..Not fucking ever..”

Rick shivered hard enough that Negan felt his skin quiver. He pressed a kiss to Rick’s cheek, willing his companion to turn his head and look at him. When those beautiful blue eyes found his, he smiled, something soft and adoring, different from his usual smirk.

“You affect me the way you do because you’re beautiful. It was your eyes and your thighs and your ass and those goddamn bowlegs that had me stuck on you the moment you walked into my store. You haven’t left me the fuck alone since then, even when I’m in a crowd of people, all I can fucking think about is you. It’s like that because you’re worth something, Rick, you’re fucking special. I know you think you’re not worth it and that you haven’t got any business being with me but you do. You think everyone else is better than you? I think you’re better than anybody else.”

A myriad of emotions passed over Rick’s features. He was clearly at war with himself, wanting to believe the words but held back by his own self doubt. “I-I don’t know if I can ever see things like you do..”

Negan thought for a moment. “Well, could you at least give it a try? A little at a time? Maybe you only try and think better of yourself when you’re with me. Can you do that?”

Rick bit his lip before slowly nodding. “I’ll try..for you.” His voice was soft but firm.

Negan smiled again then, a real genuine, light up a room smile. When he kissed Rick it was all emotion, wanting more than anything for this beautiful boy to get it through his head that he was worth more than whatever ideal image he kept comparing himself to.

When they parted, Negan kept him close. “Now I think it’s about time we finally got to some fucking fun, don’t you?”

Rick nodded, perking up at the idea that they were going to pick up where they left off. He was soon being led back over to the bed. Negan sat back down, inviting Rick to plant himself in his lap. The boy hesitated for a millisecond before he was clambering up, settling a knee on either side of Negan’s lap.

“Look at you, sweetheart, climbing right on like a goddamn cowboy. I bet you’d ride my dick just as well.” He purred, happy to finally be able to touch what he’d been eyeing. He was determined to get Rick as turned on as he had been just a few short minutes ago when he’d been showing off.

“Did you like my little..performance? I’ve never done anything like that for anybody..” Rick confessed, looking like he wanted to shy away again but was determined not to.

Negan let out a filthy groan as he remembered the sway of Rick’s perfect ass in his panties. “Most fucking definitely, sugar. I was fucking hypnotized by your fucking hips.” He gave Rick’s ass a squeeze, fingertips fiddling with the lacy bow, so tempted to untie it and turn Rick over and have him right then. But he had promised before to show Rick all the things that were out there to experience and he was a man of his word, after all.

“What should we do first, sweet boy? I have so many ideas of what we could do, I don’t even know where to fucking start. Maybe I could show you a few of my favorites and then we could go from there, hm?”

Rick licked his lips, excitement bubbling up in the pit of his stomach. “I really like the sound of that.”

“How about you go and lay on the bed, make yourself real fucking comfy and I’ll get out my toys, okay?”

Rick smiled softly, slipping out of Negan’s lap, crawling up the bed to settle down in the middle, curling his legs underneath him.

He watched Negan get up and kneel next to the bed, pulling out a large black box from beneath. He unclasped each lock on it before lifting the lid. For a long moment all Negan did was survey the contents in front of him. He looked to be mentally debating between several things at once. Then his face absolutely lit up.

“Fucking fuckity fucking shit, I fucking forgot about that one. My fucking god, I fucking love it when shit works out like that.” He lifted his head and grinned at Rick. “Do I have a fucking treat for you.” He took out several objects but purposefully obstructed Rick’s view so it would a surprise. Rick chewed his lip in anticipation as Negan stood up, hiding his goodies behind his back, and sat down on the bed.

“I love these.” Negan confessed, looking utterly giddy. He had said this was his happy place. He gave it a moment longer before revealing one of the objects and offering it to Rick. The boy blinked as he took it, more than a little surprised. In his hands he held what was obviously a dildo, complete with the suction cup at the bottom, but instead of being flesh colored, it was painted rainbow. He didn’t think they made them in such a color scheme.

“Fucking cool, huh?”

Rick chuckled softly, touching the head. “Yeah, it’s pretty cool.”

“Right? But that’s not the one I use, I just keep that one because I mean, it’s fucking rainbow for Christ’s sake, how could I not? You wanna see mine?”

Rick nodded almost instantly, setting the rainbow dong aside. Negan was practically vibrating with excitement as he handed Rick the next toy. Rick’s jaw almost dropped.

“Is..are those the pansexual pride colors?”

“You bet your fucking cute ass they are!”

This one was significantly bigger, about ten inches by Rick’s estimate, but it was multi-colored like the last, only this time instead of rainbow, it was pink, yellow and light blue. Negan looked at the toy with something like reverence. “That’s my absolute favorite. He and I are very well acquainted.”

Rick felt a little turned on by the fact that he was holding something Negan regularly used, something that had given him immense pleasure and had been inside him, _fucking him_ , making him cum.

“Do you like it?” Negan wanted to know.

“It’s really awesome and I bet it feels good to be stuffed full like that.”

Negan pressed his tongue against his teeth. “There ain’t nothing like feeling a big fucking cock filling you up to the absolute fucking brim. But I think that one’s a little big for you, we’ve gotta work you up to a big boy like that. But I do have something else I think you’re gonna fucking love.”

Rick watched as Negan revealed one final surprise. This time his mouth did open and he gasped softly. “Is..Is that for me?”

Negan nodded, holding out a slightly smaller toy but in the bisexual pride colors. “It was mine once, back when I still identified as bi. It’s a little bigger than the one you got at the store, it’s eight inches, but I think you can handle it, don’t you?”

The boy nodded so fast Negan thought he’d hurt his neck. “It’s perfect. Does this mean I can keep it?”

“Sure fucking does, sweetheart. I’m happy to see it go to a deserving home.” Negan smirked and winked at him. “Think you’d wanna give it a fucking try right now? I’d be fucking honored to help you masturbate with your new best friend."

Rick felt the breath leave his lungs in one gust. “What about you..? I-I mean, you said you’ll help, but how are you gonna get off if I’ve got the toy in my ass?”

Negan’s lips found Rick’s ear. “You mind if I watch you, sweet boy? I bet it’d be hot to watch you ride your new toy. Or maybe you’d rather have it stuck to the fucking wall so you can pretend your pretty little ass is being pounded? How do you want to do it, sugar?”

Rick’s mouth was suddenly so dry it was like he’d never had a drink of any liquid in his life. Every vulgar and obscene idea that came out of Negan’s mouth sounded like a goddamn fantasy come true. How was he supposed to choose when they all were good ideas that he’d like to try sometime? But then, an idea came to him and he couldn’t think of doing it any other way.

“The bathroom..”

“What about it, darlin?”

“The shower is one of those ones with nice tile and a glass door, right? Is the door sturdy?”

Negan blinked, thinking about this. “You’re right and yeah, I think so. Why?”

Rick looked directly into Negan’s hazel eyes. “I wanna mount the cock on the inside of the door. So when I go in there, close it, and fucking impale myself, you’ll be on the other side and be able to see absolutely everything.” He nipped at Negan’s stubbled cheek. “I want you to watch my hole swallow up that fucking dick, want you to see every fucking inch of me. Want you to cum, watching me bent over, getting pounded on your old toy again and again.”

Negan looked at Rick like he was the second coming. “Jesus fucking Christ that’s dirty, Rick. Fucking fuckity fucking fuck, fucking love the way you think. Hope I can fucking see inside you, listen to you scream my name with my hand on my dick.” He kissed the boy then, all filthy tongue.

“Does that mean you’ll let me do it?” Rick asked after a moment, even more out of breath than before.

Negan snorted. “Like I’m gonna miss a fucking chance to see something like that. Gonna let me get you all nice and loose?”

Instead of nodding, Rick moved away, laying down on his back and effectively presented himself to the other man. “Go ahead,” He encouraged softly, “open your present.”

Negan let out something that sounded like a whimper before settling behind Rick, running his hands down his back. “How did I get this fucking lucky?” He wondered softly, momentarily overcome with the fact that Rick probably wouldn’t do this for anyone else if they asked him right then and there. The amount of trust the kid had in him was amazing and also quite the turn on.

He fumbled with the bow on Rick’s backside, curses growing increasingly louder and his slender fingers refused to do as he demanded. Soon, Rick was laughing softly beneath him and Negan was glad he wasn’t looking or else he would’ve seen the older man’s faint blush.

When he finally got the knot undone, he gave a small triumphant noise before eagerly sliding down the fabric. As much as he liked Rick in the skimpy piece of clothing, he liked his lover bare even more. He saw goosebumps break out on Rick’s back and smirked.

“Spread ‘em for me, darlin’.”

Rick obeyed, letting the top half of his body press against the bed. “Are you going to-ah-h, yeah you are..”

He received a low chuckle in response as Negan wasted no time in getting his tongue inside Rick. He liked this, liked the intimacy of this act, loved that he could taste Rick’s very essence. Plus, it made Rick moan the sweetest moans, his dick dribbling precome onto the sheets beneath.

Negan added his fingers next, slicking them with lube before plunging in two. Rick’s back arched, a groan escaping his lips. It wasn’t long before he was thrusting back on them, asking for more.

“Ready for this, sweetness?”

“Yes, yes, you have no idea how badly I want to do this for you.”

Negan took Rick’s hand as he crawled off the bed and grabbed the toy and the lube. When they got into the bathroom, Negan tugged Rick into a kiss before he set about getting things ready. He tested the door just to be safe, leaning his full weight against it to see if it would give, but it held fast. It was easy enough then to mount the toy at the correct height and lube it up for Rick. The younger man watched him, chewing his lip.

“Do you want the water on? I think I can turn the showerhead so it hits you and you can always take it off the wall.”

“Sure, but when you get out here, you better be taking your clothes off.”

“You got it, sugar.”

Negan got the shower going, checking the temperature before he adjusted the direction and stepped out. He then stripped for Rick without a hint of shame, loving the way Rick’s eyes eagerly took in every patch of skin that was revealed.

“Happy now, are we?” He asked, a hand drifting down to palm his cock without much thought.

“Oh yeah, fucking definitely.” Rick smiled and promptly walked into the shower, closing the glass door. The water washed over him and he hummed at the pleasant warmth. He took a moment to let his skin get wet, figuring the added visual would be something Negan would like.

Satisfied, he took a breath and backed himself toward the glass, shivering as he felt the fake cock slip over his hole. He closed his eyes and let himself imagine that it was Negan behind him, eager to fuck him. He reached back and positioned the toy, letting out a groan as he was moved his hips back, the toy sliding inside. He didn’t stop until it was all the way in, buried deep, his skin pressed against the cool surface. He swore he could hear Negan cursing over the sound of the water running.

For a long moment, he simply enjoyed the full feeling, something he’d come to crave. He grabbed the shower implement, bringing it so the water washed over his head and down his body. The warmth turned him on even more, mimicking the feeling of being wrapped in Negan’s arms. Clipping the showerhead back in its place and turning off the water, he slid his hands down his body and began to move.

Within a few thrusts, he was moaning, reaching up to play with his nipples. His cock twitched and he listened for the sounds Negan was undoubtedly making. He wasn’t disappointed, catching a deep groan and the slick sound of his cock in his hand. It spurred him to fuck himself faster, harder, imagining the other man’s hands on him.

“ _Ne-Negan.._ ”

“I’m right here, sweetheart. And fuck, you are a fucking work of fucking art.”

Rick whined softly, feeling the head of the toy graze his prostate. “Yeah? You gonna get off on watching me fuck myself?”

“Fuck yeah I am. I bet you’re imagining it’s my cock too, aren’t ya, darlin’?”

“Can’t help it..” Rick moaned breathlessly, splaying his arms out on either side so he could get more leverage.

“Don’t worry doll, I think of you when I’m on my toy too, all the fucking time.”

Rick’s eyes flew open and his cock spurted a large drop of precome. “You’re just fucking saying that..” He managed, mewling when the cock connected with his sweet spot.

“It’s the god’s honest truth, Rick. You fucking think I haven’t been fucking calling out your name when I cum like you’ve been calling mine?”

An intense shudder trailed down Rick’s spine. “Oh god, I-I can’t, I’m not gonna last with you talking like that.”

“I’m not gonna last with your ass fucking bouncin’ on that dick like that.”

“Come closer..” Rick urged. “Let me see you.”

Negan did as he was told, coming up beside Rick but still outside the glass, so if the boy turned his head, they could make eye contact. Rick whined upon seeing Negan standing there, naked as the day he was born, tugging his cock as he watched through the barrier.

That was all it took to get Rick to lose it. He angled his hips so every movement struck his prostate, sending wave after wave of pleasure through his body. His knees felt weak but he kept going, looking directly at Negan when he was finally pushed over the edge, cock spasming and getting white everywhere.

“Fucking shit!” Negan’s body grew rigid and he bit down hard on his lip as he came, thick cock shooting all over the glass in front of him. Rick wished he was on the other side so he could lick it up.

It took a few minutes before Rick felt like his legs weren’t gonna give out and he could slide off. Once he did and pushed open the shower door, Negan was immediately on him, kissing his cheeks, his forehead, his lips, everywhere he could reach.

“You are fucking amazing, sweet boy.” Negan purred, holding him close.

Rick found himself smiling, inhaling Negan’s scent. He let himself be led back to the bed, sitting down while Negan went back to looking through his box of toys.

“I assume just because I came once doesn’t mean we’re done.”

“Oh honey, we’re only just getting started.” He looked up. “Is that alright?”

Rick nodded, his excitement growing once again. “I can go again.”

“God, you are fucking awesome.” Negan grabbed another toy before closing the lid. Rick blinked curiously as he was handed clear looking sleeve of sorts. He was confused, it wasn’t a fleshlight, though it was see through like one. So what were you supposed to do with it?

“It’s a stroker, which is like a fleshlight, except this one we both use it at the same time.”

Rick ran a thumb over the surface, “At the same time?”

Negan grinned. “Fuck yeah. Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll show you.”

He joined Rick on the bed, bringing him in for another kiss. He reached to palm Rick’s manhood, before moving his lips to the boy’s neck, tongue dragging across his pulsepoint. “Such a good boy..” He praised breathlessly, “so fucking lucky to have you. Don’t know what I did to deserve to have you here.”

Rick felt his cheeks warm, leaning into the touch, surprised at the sudden affection, though it was not unwanted. He liked seeing this part of Negan. The older man was usually all bravado and obscenities, but he also seemed to have moments of emotion and passion. He’d seen it the first time they were together and earlier, when he’d questioned his own confidence, and now again. He couldn’t help the way it turned him on even more, easily becoming hard once more in Negan’s hand.

“Ready to have some more fucking fun with me?” Negan inquired, his breath ghosting over the shell of Rick’s ear.

“God yes please, I don’t want you to stop touching me.”

The chuckle that Rick got in response was enough to make Rick’s stomach flip with anticipation. “So fucking eager, I fucking love it.”

Negan grabbed the toy and the lube, first coating a generous amount on Rick’s dick. He then fit the toy over it, watching Rick’s face with rapt interest. He loved the way his lips parted, a choked off sound forcing its way from his lungs. Those blue eyes that Negan loved so much had turned several shades darker and his pupils were blown wide.

“Feels fucking good, doesn’t it? Nice and fucking snug. Just you wait until it’s both of us in there.”

Negan was pleasantly surprised when Rick reached for the lube and poured it over his cock, stroking the older man with a slick hand. Negan practically melted in his hand, loving that his unsure partner was growing less so all the time.

“That’s it, sweetheart, just like that. Now it goes, fuck yeah, there you go.” Negan’s hips canted forward into the toy and Rick immediately groaned in response as it shifted over his cock.

“I think I see why you like this.”

“Oh yeah, all you do is move and it’s like you’re sticking your dick in the tightest hole on the fucking planet.” With both hands, he cupped Rick’s face, nipping and sucking at his lip. “Such a pretty fucking mouth.” Rick must’ve liked that, as he opened that pretty mouth like he’d been asked, moaning when they shared a sloppy wet kiss.

They continued like this, sharing kisses and leaving hickies and bites, taking pleasure in marking each other while the toy squeezed and slid with every move of their hips. Negan eagerly swallowed down Rick’s moans, hands drifting down to play with the boy’s chest, having noticed how sensitive his nipples were.

“Did I ever fucking tell you I love your fucking tits, sweetheart?” Negan asked, squeezing and massaging as though Rick had a cup size.

Rick let out something that was supposed to be a laugh but was more like a moan. “No-No, you haven’t.”

“Well I do, I fucking love them. God, wish I could spend hours on your chest, making you fucking blush in that pretty way you do. I’d touch, then I’d use my mouth, make your nipples nice and fucking hard. Then I’d fucking slide my dick in between them, cum all over those beautiful fucking lips of yours.”

“Oh god..” Rick swore under his breath, his movements growing unsteady, obviously close to falling over the edge once again. “Fucking shit Negan, I can’t take it when you talk to me like that.”

“But you fucking love my dirty fucking mouth, don’t you darlin’?”

Rick nodded, panting openly. He looked like the picture of sin, hair mussed and out of place, one of the curls trailing down the side of his forehead. His lips were bitten pink and his cheeks were the same lovely color.

Negan swore he’d never seen a more perfect sight. He took hold of the stroker, beginning to quickly slide it back and forth over their slick skin.

“Gonna cum again, aren’t you sweet boy? You can’t believe you’re so close already but you fucking want it, don’t you? Go on, fucking blow your load, baby blue..”

Unexpectedly, Rick leaned over, wrapping his arms around Negan’s shoulders, holding onto him like a lifeline, his face buried in the corner of his shoulder. He whimpered and whined, hips moving furiously in an effort to get off. Negan wrapped one arm around the boy, pressing kisses wherever he could, while the other hand moved the toy between them, the sound it produced becoming wet and obscene.

“F-Fuck, Ne-I’m-I..” Rick could barely think clearly enough to string together a coherent sentence. All he managed after that was a strangled, “gonna cum,” before he did exactly that, hips stuttering to a halt as he spilled inside the toy.

“Such a good boy.” Negan purred, allowing Rick to shake and shudder through his orgasm while in his arms. Seeing like that was enough to have Negan lose it a moment later, white beginning to leak from the sleeve.

Rick clearly needed a moment, his body have gone completely limp and boneless, so Negan held him up as best as he could while he removed the object from between them and let Rick rest against him while he caught his breath and came back to himself. When he heard the boy’s breathing return a somewhat steady rate, he asked softly, “How are we feeling?”

There was a muffled grunt and then Rick had lifted his head, enough so he could look Negan in the eyes. “Don’t understand how I can feel so good at one time. Didn’t think it was possible, actually.”

Negan grinned, very pleased with himself. “Well sweetness, that’s because you’ve only been with me that one other time. If we’d have been together this whole time, I’m sure you would’ve understood how good things can feel.”

“What else do you have to show me?”

“Don’t you wanna take a minute? Can you even get hard again that fucking quick?”

“I don’t know, but we can find out. I’m sure you had at least one other thing in mind, didn’t you?”

Negan pursed his lips. “Truth be fucking told, you’re right. There is one other thing I had planned for us to try, if you were still conscious and willing, that is.”

“I’m awake and I’m willing. Show me, please?”

Negan really couldn’t argue with that, not with the way Rick was looking at him. So he went back to his toy box one last time and pulled out something quite large.

The first thing out of Rick’s mouth when he saw it was a loud, “Jesus fucking Christ.”

Negan held a straight face for a millisecond before bursting into laughter. “Calm down, it’s meant to share, not to be taken by someone all at once.”

Rick licked his lips. “You mean, you’re going to..oh..”

Negan frowned, brows pulling together. “Why? Got a fucking problem with that? You didn’t earlier when I showed you the other fake dicks that I use.”

“No! I mean, that’s not what I mean. I just..I’m not sure how I’m going to last very long while getting a full view of that thing..inside you...while it’s inside me..”

“Well I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

Rick felt a little uneasy again but he nodded nonetheless. Negan’s frown deepened, and closed the box, pushing it back under the bed with his foot before setting the toy aside and sitting next to Rick.

“Sweet boy, are you sure you want to do this? You don’t look so fucking sure to me.”

Rick fidgeted, glancing down at his hands. “It’s not that I don’t want to do this..”

“Then what the fuck is it?” Negan cleared his throat. “I mean, whatever it is, you can tell me. Because if you have even a hint of doubt, then I don’t want to do it. You need to be on board all the way for this to work.”

Rick worried his lip again. “I do want to do it..but only if we do it some way that we’re face to face.”

Negan blinked, not expecting that whatsoever. “That’s all? You just wanna be able to look me in the eyes?”

Rick hesitantly nodded. “I-I liked the whole thing in the shower..but doing it and then doing the thing we just did makes me realize that I like it a lot more when I can look right at you. It makes it more...intimate..” The last word came out so soft it was almost a whisper.

Negan really did not expect that at all. Of all the reasons Rick could have reservations about things, this was definitely not on the list. But it was also a little endearing. Negan hesitated for half a moment before reaching to place his hand over Rick’s. The boy jumped at the sudden touch, his cheeks red all over again, but he didn’t pull away.

“I think I know a way we can do it like that. If that’s what you want, then that’s how we’ll do it.” He moved closer to Rick, placing kisses on the side of his neck, his cheek, his forehead. “There’s nothing wrong with the way you want it, Rick..” He assured.

Rick chanced a look at the older man before looking away again. “But..this is just sex, I shouldn’t want to make it anything else.”

Silence lapsed between them and Rick feared that he’d gone and ruined this whole thing when that was the absolute last thing he wanted to do.

“It doesn’t have to be.”

Rick looked up, afraid that he would find some sort of mocking expression on Negan’s face. He found no such thing. “What do you mean?”

“I planned on taking you out a fucking date today, though that’s not what we ended up doing. Do you really fucking think I’d do that if you were just a good fuck?”

“I guess I didn’t think about it like that..”

“You aren’t just some guy I’m happy fucking once in a while. That’s just not how I see you.”

“Then...how do you see me?”

Negan reached to touch Rick’s face, thumb grazing his cheek. He looked to be giving the question a lot of thought. Finally he answered, “I see you as somebody worth getting to know and worth keeping around. Somebody who deserves to know how utterly fucking beautiful and sweet they are.”

Rick’s expression lightened, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His mouth gently turned up in a smile. “I think I see you like that too, in a way.”

“Well fuck, glad we’re on the same page then.” Negan couldn’t resist grinning widely, pleased that he had gotten Rick to cheer up. He disliked seeing him unhappy. And when Rick leaned up to kiss him, Negan only grinned even more.

“Does this mean I get to open you up?” Rick asked, sound breathless at the very idea.

“It’s certainly a lot more fun if you do it.”

“I would fucking love to.”

Had Negan mentioned how much he loved when that sweet mouth swore?

He happily laid out on the bed while Rick followed with the lube in hand. He looked a little nervous but Negan had faith that he’d do this right, even if he hadn’t done it before. Rick chewed his lip, slicking up his fingers and Negan’s hole too, just to be safe. The other man was relaxed as can be, so it helped that he seemed to be completely comfortable with Rick doing this.

“I’m really sorry if I fuck this up..” Rick muttered, more to himself than to Negan. Nonetheless, Negan let out a scoff.

“Give yourself a little more credit, Rick. You’ve fingered yourself, doing it to me isn’t that much of a fucking leap.”

Rick let out a shaky breath and nodded. “Good point.”

Still, he was careful as he teased the tight opening, gently prodding with his fingertips. But then suddenly, he stopped. Negan raised an eyebrow as Rick pulled his hand back.

“You okay there, sweetheart?”

“I wanna to eat you out really fucking bad.” Rick blurted, cheeks burning a bright red.

Silence. Then Negan was laughing, a hand on his belly. Though when he saw Rick’s guilty expression, he went quiet.

“Hey, I’m not laughing at you. It’s just ironic that I was actually thinking about that and then you ask for it. It’s like our brains are on the same wavelength or some shit. So go ahead, be my guest, I would fucking love to have your tongue inside me.”

Rick swallowed, licking his lips. “Roll over, yeah? I wanna see your cute ass..please?”

“So damn polite, how the fuck can I say no to that?” Negan immediately turned over, spreading his legs himself up to Rick.

“Fuck..” Rick murmured, hesitating a moment before reaching to run his hands over Negan’s backside, thumbs brushing over the pink pucker in the middle. “Jesus and I was enamored by your dick..”

“I know right? I’m just fucking perfect fucking everywhere, aren’t I?”

Rick pushed aside his nerves, honestly too turned on to give them much attention. Instead he took what he wanted, dragging his tongue across Negan’s waiting entrance. The older man shuddered beneath the touch, letting out the softest of moans. Rick went slowly at first, teasing the rim in an effort to coax the tight muscle open. He hoped he was doing this correctly, though it seemed difficult to screw up. And if the noises Negan was making were any indication, he was doing things exactly right. He pressed in gently with each thumb, delving his tongue inside.

“You swear you’ve never done this before?” Negan asked, trying to resist the urge to grind back on Rick’s face. Rick tried to recall what Negan had done when he’d been giving instead of receiving. He lifted his chin, rubbing his stubble over the sensitive skin. Negan gave a deep groan in response, murmuring, “Yeah, baby boy. Want me to be sore, don’t ya? Want me to think of you every time I move, huh?”

“Fuck yeah I do.” Rick responded boldly, now sliding one of his fingers into the tight heat. One quickly turned into two and pretty soon he was fucking three fingers in and out along with his tongue. Negan had lost the ability to manage anything remotely coherent besides the words ‘Rick’ and ‘fuck’.

Reluctantly, Rick pulled away. “I think you’re ready. I gotta stop or I’m gonna be tempted to do it until you cum all over yourself again.”

Negan turned over onto his back, looking more than a little debauched. He looked at Rick like he wanted to devour him. “Your turn, sweetheart.” He beckoned him forward.

Rick crawled forward, straddling Negan’s chest. Before he could ask where Negan intended to go with this, wet fingers found his hole and an equally wet mouth found his cock. Rick’s head fell back and couldn’t decide whether he should thrust forward or push back.

Soon Rick found himself with three of Negan’s long fingers inside him, brushing against his prostate as his cock was sucked. He reached up to muffle his moans, eagerly riding Negan’s hand. Finally, Negan let go of Rick’s dick with a wet pop, licking his lips.

“Ready for this, darlin’? We’re gonna do it just like this, just how you wanted.”

Rick nodded, moving back down Negan’s body so he was sitting comfortably over his hips, a shiver running down his spine as their cocks brushed. He watched as Negan retrieved their newest toy and poured a generous amount of lube on both ends.

It was easy enough to slide the first end inside Negan. The older man hummed in pleasure when the thick head slipped past, looking rather blissed out the deeper it went. He reached then to take it from Rick, helping him to get into place before easing the toy inside. Rick’s breath caught, a little surprised at the stretch but welcoming it nonetheless, allowing himself to straighten and push back, hole greedily swallowing more.

“Jesus fuck, where has this been all my life?”

Negan chuckled rather darkly, tugging Rick down for a kiss. “Feels good, doesn’t it? Like we’re fucking connected and shit. Both fucking filled up and there ain’t nothing better.”

Rick experimentally shifted his hips and groaned when the fake cock sank in further. His every move affected Negan too, the other man’s eyes going from hazel to a deep amber color, lust obvious in the way he watched Rick.

“Go ahead, sweet boy.” He encouraged, “Fuck yourself on that big fake dick.”

Rick didn’t need anymore prompting than that. He began to rock his hips, moaning as he was stretched by the thick toy, his cock already beginning to drip precome. Negan watched like Rick was a living, breathing piece of artwork. Every undulating move dragged their stiff cocks together, only adding to the pleasure. Rick’s hands fluttered, as though he didn’t know what to do with them. He swallowed, meeting Negan’s gaze.

“Can I..I want to hold..” Instead of asking, Rick simply to do it, leaning over Negan and tangling their hands, pinning them above their heads.

The corner of Negan’s mouth tipped up. “There you go, baby boy, don’t gotta ask for things like that.”

Rick let out a whine, hovering just above Negan’s lips as he rode the toy, wanting him to see every minute expression on his face as he did this. He also took pleasure in watching the way Negan reacted to all this, the way his breathing grew more ragged, the noises he let out becoming more and more needy.

Negan lifted up, nipping at Rick’s lips. “Oh yeah, fucking ride me, cowboy.”

Rick groaned, sealing their lips in another kiss. He sped up his movements, the bed beginning to shift as he continued, chasing down his third orgasm. When Negan wrapped his fist around both their cocks, he thought he was going to cum right then and there.

Negan tilted his head, sucking several hickies on Rick’s neck and jaw. He stroked them firmly, thumb teasing the leaking slits.

“Gonna cum again, aren’t you sweet boy? Gonna make a big fucking mess of both of us, huh?”

Rick nodded feverishly, unable to manage to utter anything more than a mewl. He squeezed Negan’s hands, seeking more kisses. Negan was more than happy to oblige, tongue lapping into Rick’s mouth.

Rick whimpered, reluctantly pulling away. “I-I..” His eyes squeezed shut and he bore down harder, every nerve in his body humming with pleasure when the blunt cock found his sweet spot. “D-Don’t stop, please..Please don’t fuckin stop..” His grip on Negan’s hands became locked tight, his breathing fast and erratic. “Ne-Ne..Gonna cum-Make me cum!”

Negan caught his mouth in a deep kiss, twisting his fist and running his thumb under the head like he knew Rick liked. Rick’s body froze, his whole body going tense. Within moments he was shuddering, mouth gone slack as he cried out, gripping Negan’s hands like he might slip away if he didn’t hold on. His eyes snapped opened, a stormy blue, like a roiling ocean during a storm. Negan was honestly surprised his cock gave up anything after the two times he’d cum already, but soon Rick had white splattered all over them both. Negan only added to it, finishing the moment he saw the way Rick’s eyes nearly rolled back into his head. He kept his mouth on Rick’s as he rode out his orgasm, bucking into his fist.

Rick all but collapsed onto Negan, like he had no energy left in his body. He didn’t seem to much care he was lying in their spunk. It took him several extra moments to let go of Negan’s hands. The older man quietly removed the object of their pleasure from between them before gently running his hands over Rick’s shoulders and down his back.

“How the fuck are you, sweetheart?” He wondered softly.

Rick attempted to reply, mumbling something indecipherable before trying to lift his head.

“I’m..I think..I’m really good..” He managed before promptly burying his face in Negan’s neck. Negan smiled at that, running his fingers through Rick’s sweaty and disheveled mass of curls. He liked this, liked the way Rick wanted to be close after what they’d done, his arms winding around Negan as best he could.

“Thank you..”

Negan’s lips brushed Rick’s forehead. “Why are you doin’ that? You act like what we did was me doing you a fucking favor. I mean, it wasn’t a fucking diservice, but I fucking wanted it too, you know.”

“I know..I suppose it’s just me still trying to get used to the fact that you find me genuinely attractive. That all this isn’t somehow out of pity or some shit.”

Negan heaved a sigh. “You are gonna learn that I would never do that for anyone. I don’t fuck anybody unless they’re as on board with it as I am.” He reached for a box of tissues, at least attempting to clean them up a little. “And fucking usually, I don’t bring people home. And it’s most definitely a one time thing. This fucking thing, whatever it is, is not that. I fucking want you around, Rick, don’t you ever think otherwise. If I wanted you out, you’d be out, you’d have never gotten this far.”

Rick shifted, pressing small kisses to Negan’s throat. “I’m glad I’m here then. I’m glad you don’t see me like everyone else..”

Negan tossed the used tissues in the general direction of the garbage can. He then grabbed the blanket from the bottom of the bed and covered them. He shifted them, until he was on his side and Rick was resting comfortably against his chest, head still cradled in the crook of his neck. His lips found his partner’s forehead again.

“Me too, sweet boy, me too.”

* * *

 

Rick was beginning to think he always slept better when he was in Negan’s arms. It had happened the first time they were together and it happened this time. He slept so deeply, so peacefully, that he felt completely at ease when he woke up. He was surprised that they hadn’t continued to play around during the time they’d spent sleeping, but he didn’t mind. They’d done more than enough and though he’d enjoyed every minute of it, he was feeling a little sore. A nice long sleep had been exactly what he needed.

When he woke, the first thing Rick became aware of was that he was alone. He felt around before he even opened his eyes and it became abundantly clear he was by himself. That was disappointing. But then Rick inhaled deeply and something amazing filled his nose. Was that bacon?

Rick opened his eyes slowly and carefully sat up in bed. He smelled again, his stomach beginning to rumble. That was definitely bacon and he thought he was smelling something like waffles too. He wondered if Negan was cooking or if he had ordered out.

Rick also noticed that the dried spunk had been cleaned from his chest. He must’ve been sleeping so heavily he didn’t even notice.

He yawned and stretched his arms above his head, sliding his legs from under the blankets and planting them on the floor. He ran a hand through his messy hair, looking around the room for his clothes. He wanted to check his phone before he went out, just in case one of his friends had left him a message.

He found his clothes folded up on the dresser. He moved to pull them on, but found his phone was missing. Maybe Negan had stowed it somewhere for safe keeping?

He began to search, opening and closing drawers. He hoped Negan wouldn’t mind. And he had been right. In the nightstand, next to several watches and an old framed picture, was Rick’s phone. He grabbed it and quickly checked it before shoving it into his pocket.

He wasn’t sure what made him stop and made him look at the picture. He knew he really had no right to be examining Negan’s things. But once he caught sight of the photo, he couldn’t resist. He lifted it out and settled on the bed, looking down at it.

It was framed, but the wood was worn where it had been touched many times. The picture inside looked worn also, like it had been in someone’s pocket for many years. It was obviously from a wedding. It was of a man and a woman embracing, the man’s arms wrapped around her from behind, his lips on her cheek as they both smiled at the camera. She was tall, but not quite as tall as him, with wild curly black hair and a heart shaped face. Her eyes were a piercing blue, a color one didn’t easily forget. The man also had dark hair, but it was styled differently than it was today and his face was smooth shaven. She looked like she was having the time of her life. The man did too. Rick felt like he was going to be sick.

Because the man in the photo, the _married_ man, was Negan.

_He lied to me. Why would he lie to me?_

Rick bit down hard on his lip, feeling a million different emotions all at once. After everything Negan had said last night, after everything they’d done, he couldn’t even bother to mention that he was married? How could he have the balls to pursue Rick when he had this other, clearly stunning, woman in his life?

Rick was ashamed to admit he felt tears stinging his eyes. All that shit Negan had said about him being attractive and worth something, it was all just that, bullshit. It had to be. He was just a goddamn booty call. What other explanation could there be?

Angrily, Rick swiped at his eyes, forcing the tears to stop. If he was going to make it out of here and home with his dignity still intact, he needed to quit crying and pull himself together.

It took him several minutes to calm down, but eventually his breathing slowed and the tears ceased. He set his jaw and stood up, made sure he had all of his things, grabbed the picture and left the bedroom.

He found Negan in the kitchen, clad in nothing but a pair of black boxers, whistling softly as he manned a waffle maker and cooked a side of bacon and sausage, all at the same time. He didn’t hear Rick approach, too busy getting breakfast ready to pay attention.

When Rick cleared his throat, his head lifted and he turned, a grin coming to his face as he caught sight of the other man.

“Well good fucking morning to you, sweet boy. How the fuck did you sleep? Fucking good, I hope. When I checked on you early, you were dead to the fucking world. So I started fucking breakfast, you gotta fucking get in the calories after shit like that.”

Negan set down his spatula and came close, intent on giving Rick a kiss. So he was quite surprised when Rick immediately turned his cheek and coldly stepped back.

Negan blinked, smile disappearing. “The fuck is that about?” He spied the picture in Rick’s hands and for a moment, anger flashed across his face. “Why the fucking fuck do you have that?”

“What? Pissed that I found out about your little fucking secret?” Rick demanded, blue eyes gone dark, but not from lust.

“How fucking dare you?!” He growled. “How could you lead me on like this? How could you say all that sweet, kind shit to me, lie to my fucking face! You act all fucking possessive and shit, like I belong to you and I fucking liked it too, but you already have someone that fucking belongs to you! You pretend to be moral and upright about your relationships but it’s just more fucking bullshit! How can you fucking live with yourself?!” When Rick yelled, he gestured widely, and before he could think, the picture had flown from his hand and hit the hard floor, shattering into pieces.

The silence that followed was deafening. The expression on Negan’s face turned into one Rick had never seen. When he looked into the older man’s hazel eyes, he saw nothing but venom and barely contained rage.

“You think I’d do that to you? That I’d fucking cheat on my own goddamn wife with a fucking broke ass whiny piece of shit college student?” His voice was deadly calm for someone so clearly angry. “You think I’d jump into bed with you when I had the fucking best woman on the goddamn planet?”

Rick took another step back. Did he say _had_?

“Don’t fucking flatter yourself, Rick. I’d never, ever, fucking cheat on her. In fact, I’d never cheat on anyone, I thought I made that perfectly fucking clear. I guess fucking not.” His fists clenched at his sides and he looked like he was debating throwing a punch.

“You are something fucking else, Rick Grimes. Didn’t your bitch of a mother ever fucking teach you to mind your own goddamn business? I guess fucking not, so I’ve gotta fucking spell it out for you.”

Negan was shaking ever so slightly. The food on the stove had begun to burn. He ignored it completely. “If you must fucking know, yeah, I was married. _Was_. Past fucking tense you piece of garbage. I’d known Lucille since we were kids. We got married in college. It was the best day of my goddamn life. Things weren’t fucking perfect all the fucking time, but being with her was the best fucking decision I ever fucking made. I love her more than I love breathing air. But you know what? Life fucking happens!” He spat, drawing up to his full height, looming over Rick.

“One day we were talking about having kids. The next, she was so sick she could barely walk. She threw up everything she fucking ate, she lost the hair she loved so goddamn much, and when I took her to the hospital, she was coughing up blood!”

He stopped then, a far away look glazing over his eyes, as though he was reliving every single horrible moment in real time. When he spoke again, his voice was almost quiet, “By the time I got her help, there wasn’t a goddamn fucking thing they could do. I watched for two fucking months as she withered away in a goddamn hospital bed, too weak to get up on her own. I never left her fucking side. I was there when she took her last breath. I will never, ever, fucking forget what it felt like to watch her die, to feel like I may as well have fucking died right along with her.”

Rick was positive he could see moisture in Negan’s eyes, but if there was, he never let it fall. “I spent the time after that trying to fucking will myself to die. I didn’t want to fucking live in a world without her. But I was too much of a fucking coward. I even bought a fucking gun, but I just couldn’t fucking do it.”

He turned his gaze back on Rick. “So I started fucking sticking my dick in whoever would allow me to. I don’t know how the fucking store survived. My friends, fucking Simon and even that dipshit Dwight, they kept it going while I tried to fucking run myself into the ground.”

He tilted his head, staring at the other man. “I eventually got fucking better, started trying to live again. But it didn’t get real good, it didn’t get as good as it fucking was with her..until I met you. When I first fucking saw you, you took my goddamn breath away. Those eyes..it was like I was really alive again, for the first fucking time in years. And then when you fucking wanted me back, it was like I couldn’t have gotten fucking luckier. I was finally able to put that picture away, I fucking finally felt like I had healed, that I had moved on, that I could go on without her and be okay.”

His jaw clenched and he shook his head. “I thought maybe I could fall in love again. How fucking wrong was I. Never been more wrong in my entire fucking life.”

With that, he turned and quietly went to where the picture lay, apparently unafraid of the glass shards on the floor. His touch was shaky again as he reached to pick up the worn photo.

Rick swallowed, trying to breath with such a large lump in his throat. He felt like absolute shit. How could he have fucked up so damn bad? Things had been so perfect, everything that had happened between them had been exactly what he wanted. For the first time in his life, he felt genuinely wanted. But now..now Negan looked at him like it pained him to be occupying the same space.

Hesitantly he took a step forward, voice wavering and cracking, “Ne-Negan, please, you have to -“

“I think you should go now, Rick.” The words were said in a flat voice, completely devoid of emotion.

“But-“

“Get the fucking fuck out!”

Rick shivered at the sudden loud outburst, not needing to see Negan’s face to know that there was no chance of getting another word in.

On uneasy legs he made his way toward the door and left himself out.

The only thing he had to be thankful for was that he made it back home to his apartment before he completely broke down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick receives some advice from his friends and decides to confront Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is. I promised a resolution and I keep my word.

The next two weeks of Rick’s life were some of the worst he’d experienced in a very long time. He knew he couldn’t just sit around his apartment and mope, but that’s all he wanted to do. Nonetheless, he managed to drag himself to class and to work. But he stopped talking to most people and it was hard to pay attention. He withdrew, even cutting off contact with Daryl and Paul. His friends were worried, Rick had only spoken enough to tell them some of what had happened, which was essentially ‘I messed up. He hates me’.

By the end of the second week, they knew they were going to have to do something. They couldn’t let their friend languish in his own suffering and self hatred forever. So, they did what any friend would do for another friend.

They ambushed him.

They descended upon him just as he got out of class, so he would nowhere to run. Not that Rick put up much of a fight when they grabbed him and tugged him toward their dorm. He let himself be lead into the apartment and set on the spacious couch while they argued about what to do next. To be honest, they had thought he’d take off as soon he saw them coming. Apparently he didn’t have the heart to do even that.

“We need to talk, Rick.” Daryl said, settling down on the chair across from his best friend. Paul disappeared into the kitchen to get them all some of Daryl’s leftover tacos, which he’d made the night before. He warmed them before setting a plate in front of Rick so he could get a whiff, hoping to entice him to eat something.

“Don’t wanna talk.” Rick muttered, pushing the plate away. His stomach growled, he hadn’t eaten anything of substance since a granola bar the day before, but he felt too shitty to eat, even Daryl’s amazing food.

“We know you don’t. But it needs to happen. We can’t help you if you don’t tell us the whole story.” Paul pointed out, sitting down next to Rick on the couch. His hair was in an elegant top knot today.

“You can’t help me..” Rick insisted softly. His shoulders sagged and his eyes looked clouded and mournful. “I ruined the best thing to happen to me in years.”

“What do you mean? What happened between you and this guy, Negan?”

Rick shook his head, the man’s very name causing an ache in his chest. He’d avoided even thinking that name for the past couple of weeks, feeling empty every time he slipped up and allowed himself to mention it in his own head.

Paul placed a hand on Rick’s shoulder. “This man. If he’s as great as you made him seem, if he’s everything you spoke about, then he cares for you, no?”

Rick swallowed thickly. “I thought he might. But not anymore. Not after how I treated him.”

“Well if he cared, then that means he might be able to find it in himself to forgive you if you show you genuinely feel sorry. You do feel sorry, right?”

Rick nodded slowly. “I’d take it all back, everything I said if I could. I’d ask him instead of accusing him.”

“What did you accuse him of?” Paul wondered, gently massaging Rick’s shoulder, hoping to get him to relax enough to open up.

“Cheating. I accused him of being married while being with me.”

“Was he?”

He shook his head. “No..His wife..She-She’s been dead for a while.” Rick reached to rub his temples. “Fuck if I’d just fucking asked instead of getting upset. I’m sure he would’ve explained what happened. He might not have liked it, might have been a little mad, but we could’ve talked it out. I would’ve apologized for bringing it up and maybe he would’ve said sorry for even leaving my stuff in there so I’d find the picture.” Rick lifted his head and quietly detailed what had happened and what he’d done.

“Oh Rick, man..It sounds like you both messed up.” Daryl stated, feeling a little relief when Rick finally reached and began to eat.

“I feel like what I did was worse..” He murmured after he swallowed down his bite.

“Maybe so. Still, it doesn’t excuse the way he got angry.” Paul pointed out.

“But what do I do then, if we’re both at fault? I-I hate this..I hate feeling like this..” He set down the food, stomach twisting uncomfortably.

“You need to apologize.” Daryl said immediately. “He does too, but you can start the process by apologizing for your part.”

Rick closed his eyes. “What if he doesn’t want to see me or listen to me?”

“You have to at least try. You care about him, don’t you?”

He nodded, biting his lip. “I felt like..like I was starting to fall in love. I know we haven’t known each other that long, but it was so different than anything I’d ever experienced. It was everything I wanted. I’m sure, given the time, I would’ve fallen in love..”

“Then this is worth fighting for.” Daryl looked at Paul, who murmured his agreement.

“How do I do it though? I don’t want to do it in public at his store or something. It needs to be between us.”

“Can you go back to his place? See if he’s home and try and talk to him there?” Paul offered Rick some water and he took it, taking a long gulp.

“And if he’s not home?”

“Wait in the lobby until he gets back. He’s gotta come home sometime.” Daryl said, glad to see Rick’s expression had lightened a little.

Rick tapped his fingertips nervously on his thigh. “Okay..” He finally murmured. “I’ll uh, I’ll do it. I should be able to find my way back.” He licked his lips. “What if..what if he doesn’t apologize? What if he doesn’t care the way I thought he did?”

“Then you walk away. He’s had some time to think. If in these past few weeks he hasn’t seen that what he did wasn’t right, then there isn’t much you can do because he obviously doesn’t care as much as you thought.”

The expression Rick gave his friends was pained. He obviously didn’t want to let Negan go.

“It would be for the best, Rick. If he doesn’t care, it’s not worth it. You need someone who cares about you and your feelings.” Daryl wouldn’t let his best friend put himself through the wringer for someone who didn’t give a shit about him. Rick deserved better than that.

Despite how much the idea that he could lose Negan hurt him, Rick knew Daryl and Paul were right. If Negan didn’t care, he couldn’t let himself try and cling to him anyway. He had to realize he was worth more than that, even if that concept was hard for Rick to accept.

“Can I hang around here for a few days? Just until I feel more like myself and can go and talk to him?” Rick didn’t want to go back to his empty apartment, knowing if his friends were around, he was less likely to chicken out on his plans to see Negan.

Daryl and Paul both smiled.

“Of course, man.” answered Daryl, “Whatever you need.”

* * *

 

Rick spent the coming few days trying to gather himself, sleeping on the couch and eating Daryl’s cooking. His friends were as helpful as they could be, looking out for him and giving him whatever advice they could offer.

On Saturday, Rick didn’t have class or work. He decided it was time he visited Negan.

“Do you want us to make the trip with you? We can stay with you until he comes around.” Daryl offered as Rick dressed and prepared to leave.

The other boy shook his head. “I think I need to do this myself, but thank you, you and Paul. I don’t know what I’d do without friends like you.”

Paul came up beside them, smiling softly. “We’re always gonna be here for you.”

Rick managed a partial smile, giving both of them a hug before he left the apartment and headed for the subway.

It was a quiet ride. Rick tried not to let his nerves overwhelm him but it was difficult, his stomach continually tossing and twisting. But he knew deep down that he had to do this, no matter how nervous or afraid he was.

He thankfully found Negan’s building relatively easily. He stepped inside out of the heat and went to the man at the front desk, as he would have to buzz the intercom to see if Negan was home.

“I-I need the apartment on the fifteenth floor. Um, tell him it’s Rick.”

“I’m sorry, he’s not home right now. Can I take a message?”

Rick sighed and shook his head. “No, I’ll uh, I’ll wait. Do you know when he usually comes back?”

The man looked at his watch. “Not for a few hours yet.”

Rick simply nodded. If he had to stay for that long, then he would. He went to sit on one of the plush coaches in the lobby, going over in his head what he planned to say.

Every time the door opened, Rick’s heart sped up. Every time it wasn’t Negan, he felt disappointed. But he stayed, he refused to let himself give up.

* * *

 

Several hours had passed. Rick didn’t even look up when the door opened this time.

“Rick? What the fuck are you doing here?”

Rick jumped at the sound of Negan’s voice, looking up. Suddenly he was face to face with the man who hadn’t left his thoughts for weeks.

He bit his lip, fidgeting slightly. “Hi..”

Negan’s expression was completely blank and utterly impassive. “Why are you here?” He asked again.

Rick found himself suddenly unable to find any words. He’d been rehearsing his speech for hours but it all disappeared in the blink of an eye.

“I-I..we should talk..”

Negan didn’t respond right away, sizing up Rick. “And if I don’t want to talk?”

“Please..I need to explain. Just give me a chance.”

Negan pursed his lips, eyes moving away from Rick as he debated this. “Fine. You can walk with me.”

Rick stood and followed when Negan walked away toward the elevators. He didn’t say anything while they waited for a car, stepping inside with him when the doors opened. He only began to speak when the doors closed and they were alone.

“You have to understand something.” He started. “What I did..I would’ve jumped to same conclusion with anyone. That’s just how I am, how my mind is wired. I’m so fucking insecure sometimes, that I’m always sure of the worst. In my mind what I saw just validated what I already feared. That you didn’t really care, that what was between was something fake, that I was just being used because it sure as hell wouldn’t be the first time.” Rick felt a lump form in his throat but forced himself to go on. “Every person I’ve ever been with has lied to me, or mistreated me somehow. So when I met someone as great as you, I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for things to go to shit like they always do. I know that’s no fucking excuse but that’s the truth.” He hated the way his eyes had begun to water. “I-I’m sorry..” His voice came out barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve the shit I threw at you. If I could redo it, take it all back, I would. I would’ve asked you straight up to your face about the picture. I wouldn’t have let my own goddamn fears cloud my judgement.” He chanced a glance at Negan but the other man’s expression remained the same and he looked straight ahead. Rick’s stomach clenched with worry. Just then, the doors opened to Negan’s floor and he walked out toward his apartment. Rick followed, stopping at a distance when Negan went to unlock the door.

“I-I can’t take it back though, I know that. But if you still care at all, even just a little, couldn’t we try to move past this? Don’t you think we deserve that?”

When the door opened, Rick knew he was running out of time. He had to get out everything he wanted to say, before it was too late and he lost his chance forever.

“I-I still want you..Please don’t shut me out..” He begged. “I feel like..given the chance..I could love you. I-I think I’m already starting to..”

Negan stopped at that, freezing in place, hand on the doorknob. The only sound was Rick’s anxious breathing.

“Don’t you fucking bullshit me about shit like that, Rick.” Negan responded, tilting his head in Rick’s direction.

“I’m not. I would never joke about something like that.”

Negan inhaled a shaky breath, letting it out in a rush. He hadn’t expected Rick to admit that. But it gave him hope that maybe things weren’t so completely fucked after all.

“Please forgive me..” Rick implored. “If you can do that, I can forgive you.”

Negan turned slightly, enough that he could peer at Rick. “It was fucking stupid of me.” He murmured. “I shouldn’t done a fucking thing to your phone. But I was fucking afraid too. I know, fucking ridiculous, right? But...I fucking was. I thought you would wanna be gone as soon as you fucking woke up. That’s usually how it fucking goes with people I’m with. Breakfast was fucking plan A. Your fucking phone was plan B. If you wouldn’t stay to eat, I figured if you couldn’t fucking find your phone, then you wouldn’t leave. I never fucking expected you to get dressed and go fucking looking for it. I also should’ve fucking known you’d see the picture. But I guess I didn’t fucking think you’d ask or even fucking care.” He shook his head and let out a bitter laugh. “What a goddamn moron I am.”

It was a dumb, convoluted plan, but it was also kind of sweet that Negan was trying to figure out ways to keep him around.

“I would’ve stayed even without breakfast, just so you know. I would’ve stayed as long as you’d have me.” Rick came closer, wanting to reach out and touch the other man but afraid it was too much too soon.

“Yeah? See? Fucking stupid as shit. I worried for no goddamn reason at all.” Negan muttered, turning around to fully face Rick.

“Didn’t I do the same thing? You really do care, don’t you? You would never hurt me like that, would you?” He asked, lifting his head to meet Negan’s eyes.

“I do care, I really fucking do. So much it fucking scares me. And no, I would never, ever, do something like that to you. I’m not fucking like that.” Negan raised a hand, hesitating a moment before he gently cupped Rick’s cheek. “I’m sorry..” He murmured, “It still hurts so fucking much to think of..her. So when you started accusing me and fucking talking about her, I fucking lost it.”

“It’s okay..” Rick assured, getting closer, reaching to bring their foreheads to rest against each other. He wanted to look right into Negan’s eyes, to see the remorse and regret clear as day. “I told you, if you can forgive me, I can forgive you.”

“I do, I do forgive you, for all of it, for every word.” Negan promised, dragging his thumb over Rick’s cheek. It felt so good to be close to him again, even though it hadn’t really been all that long. It had felt like centuries though.

Rick smiled softly, fingertips playing with the soft hair at the back of Negan’s neck. “Good because I forgave you before I even came over here.”

“God, you’re fucking perfect.” Negan managed before he pressed their lips together.

It was like utter relief for both of them, like things were finally back in balance. They kissed like they were age old lovers that had been apart for years, finally reunited. Rick felt as though a weight had been lifted from his soul. He was certain now that what he was feeling was the beginning of love. Compared to the relationships he’d had before, this love felt easy, like this is what he’d always been meant for.

“Show me..” Rick breathed against Negan’s lips as they shared kiss after kiss. “Show me how you feel about me.”

Negan hummed softly before he slowly parted from Rick. “Yeah?” He ducked down to kiss Rick’s neck, holding the boy’s body against his own. “Are you fucking asking me to make love to you, sweet boy?”

Rick shivered, eyes slipping closed as Negan’s lips ghosted over his skin. “Yes, yes, wanna feel you again. It’s been too fucking long. You have no idea much I’ve missed sharing your bed.”

“You’re fucking right. You have no idea, baby boy, you have no idea how much I fucking missed you.” Negan purred. It took a lot of willpower for him to pull back, but he wanted to get inside so they could continue. He took Rick’s hand, giving it a squeeze before leading him inside. He took a moment to close the door and lock it, after which he moved toward the bedroom, Rick close at his side.

For a moment after they entered the bedroom, they stood apart, simply observing each other. It wasn’t until now that they noticed the change in each of them, how the last few weeks had not been kind to either of them. Negan had circles under his eyes and his beard had gone untrimmed. Rick looked much the same, more than a little stubble on his cheeks. But now, both their eyes had brightened and both stood straighter, without the weight of the world on their shoulders.

“I really have fucking missed you.” Negan breathed, looking at Rick like he was some sort of god come to life.

Rick’s smile was soft and full of affection. “The feeling is definitely mutual.”

They came together then, wrapped up in each other in moments. Negan found Rick’s lips again, wrapping his arms around the boy. Rick responded by pressing himself closer, linking his arms around Negan’s neck. His skin broke out in goosebumps as Negan’s hands began to wander, soon sliding down his back and snaking into his jeans.

Suddenly Negan was pulling back with a groan. “Fucking shit, sweet boy, you’re wearing those pretty panties I got you, aren’t you?”

Rick’s cheeks warmed but he nodded. “They make me feel good, almost confident. And..I may have had a distant hope that we’d end up like this..” He admitted softly.

“You are a fucking dream come true.” Negan massaged Rick’s pert ass through the lace but was unable to keep from going further, wanting to feel skin. He dipped underneath the panties, squeezing Rick’s cheeks, kneading and spreading. His fingertips explored, stroking Rick’s opening. The younger man moaned sweetly, hands grabbing ahold of Negan’s hair, burying his face in the taller man’s collarbone.

“I bet you’re fucking dripping already, aren’t ya, sweetheart? I bet those pretty fucking panties are gettin’ nice and wet because of you.”

Rick let out a whine, nodding again, beginning to grind against Negan’s hip. He let go of his grip on Negan’s hair, instead bringing a hand down to paw at the tent growing in the older man’s pants.

“Will you bend over the bed and let me see that cute fucking ass, sweetheart?” Negan asked, planting kisses on Rick wherever he could reach. Rick readily obeyed, moving as soon as Negan released him. He pushed his jeans down to his thighs before settling over the edge of the bed, more than happy to stick his ass out for Negan to see.

The other man let out a pleased sound at the sight. “Jesus fucking Christ, it really is no wonder I couldn’t stop staring that day you came into my store. Those bowlegs, that ass, those fucking thighs. Does it make me a fucking pervert that I’d let you fucking suffocate me, crush my fucking head with those perfect thighs?”

That earned a soft laugh from Rick. “I wouldn’t do that to you, but feel free to put your face between my legs, especially if your tongue is involved.”

“Well, then ain’t it a fucking coincidence that that’s what I was about to do.”

Negan knelt down between Rick’s spread legs, happily undoing the bow at the top of panties, licking his lips as he slid them down. “Fucking fuckity fuck, look at you.” He parted Rick’s cheeks, smiling at the way another shiver trailed down his spine. “You are just fucking perfect everywhere darlin’..”

“So are you.” Rick murmured shakily, every nerve in his body humming in anticipation.

“Such a sweet boy.” Negan purred, eagerly leaning in for a taste.

Rick jolted, moaning softly. He laid his head down on the bed, eyes closing.

Negan took his time, teasing the rim and using his beard to scrap the sensitive skin. He continued with flat tongued strokes, watching as Rick’s hole opened up beneath his touch. The other boy’s breath was now coming in soft pants, his hands gripping the sheets. “Taste so fucking good, sweetness, like a goddamn dessert.”

Rick gave a snort that was cut off as he moaned loudly, feeling Negan’s touch press inside him. He quickly began to fuck him with his tongue. Rick pushed back against the intrusion, at the same time rutting his cock against the bed. It was swollen and leaking, smearing precome on the comforter.

He let out a whine when he felt Negan pull away. For a moment he wasn’t sure what the other man was up to until he felt something slick, wet and hard slide between his cheeks, catching on his hole.

“Fuck..” Rick hissed, feeling Negan’s cock spurt precome onto his back.

“How do you want to do it, sweet boy? How do you want me? Whatever you fucking want, I’ll fucking do it.”

Rick licked his lips and carefully lifted himself up. Negan reached out, steadying him as they began to strip themselves of their clothes. Rick then moved to crawl back on the bed, laying on his back in the middle, head on the pillows. He looked at Negan hungrily, idly giving his cock a stroke.

“Just like this.” He decided. “I wanna be able to see all of you. I..I just want to feel you, every bit of you..” Rick looked down at his hands, feeling his cheeks flush at the sudden emotion.

“Oh baby boy..” Negan knelt on the bed, coming to touch Rick’s face, lifting his chin so their eyes met. “If that’s what you fucking want, then that’s what you’ll fucking have.” He leaned to press a soft kiss to Rick’s lips. “I fucking get it, sweetheart. Trust me, I really fucking get it.”

Rick’s chest bloomed with warmth, glad Negan understood his need for the closeness and intimacy and that he didn’t mind it one bit. Negan wasted no time, retrieving the lube and sliding his fingers inside Rick. Every touch they shared was charged, so much so that Rick was crying out almost as soon as the digits entered him. It felt like everything was heightened, every sense on fire.

“Please..Please Ne..God, I need you..” Rick was aware he sounded like some whore but it was the truth. He wanted Negan so bad he could practically feel his body aching for it. It didn’t help that the other man had been massaging his prostate either.

“Alright sweetheart, I won’t make you wait any fucking longer.” Negan removed his fingers, licking them clean before he generously coated his cock in lube.

When he finally entered Rick, the sound the boy made was one of pure bliss. As soon as Negan was seated, Rick wrapped his legs around his waist, sinking him deeper. They shared kiss after kiss as Negan began to move, rocking his hips in a smooth, sweet motion. Rick reached to take both of Negan’s hands, tangling their fingers and letting them be pinned above their heads. Their foreheads touched again, enjoying the closeness, happy to be back in each other’s space. There was so much Rick wanted to say but found he didn’t need to say it. He could see exactly what he had in mind reflected in Negan’s eyes. It was like nothing he’d never experienced. He’d never felt so attuned with anyone in his life.

Still, there was one thing he felt the need to say aloud.

“I-I..” Rick heard his voice crack, unsure if this was the right thing to do. He had mentioned it earlier, only become certain of it after their mutual apologies, but now he felt like he wanted Negan to hear it. Negan nuzzled his cheek, kissing him sweetly, murmuring soft words of encouragement.

“I think I love you..” Rick finally managed, throat feeling tight with emotion.

“I know.” Negan responded, his hips picking speed. He nipped before dragging his tongue across the shell of Rick’s ear. “I never thought I’d feel it again, never again in my fucking life. But I do love you, Rick. You’ve got me feeling like a goddamn teenager again.” He closed his eyes, like he was savoring the feeling. When Rick turned his head, they shared a deep kiss. But Negan’s next words took him by surprise as they were whispered against his mouth.

“I want to feel you inside me.”

Rick’s breath stuttered out in a gust, untangling a hand to touch Negan’s face, fingertips tracing the faint scar on his cheek. He made a mental note to ask him about the scar sometime, then asked softly, “Are you sure?”

Negan nodded resolutely, eyes opening to meet Rick’s. “Don’t want just your fucking fingers or a toy..Fucking want your cock. God Rick, I wanna fucking ride you. Wanna know what it fucking feels like when you cum inside me.”

Rick groaned softly at that, his cock giving a twitch in response. He gave Negan several kisses for just saying that.

“You can have that, Ne..I would fucking love to feel you, to cum inside you, to fill you up. Bet you’d look fucking beautiful riding my dick.”

“Will you get me ready for your cock, sweet boy?”

“I would fucking love that.”

Negan stopped and withdrew, only to straddle Rick’s waist. He offered the lube to the other man, laying himself down on top of him as Rick’s slick fingers began to stretch him out. Rick felt so damn turned on by all this. The amount of trust Negan was giving him was more than he ever expected, but he was honored to have it and he vowed to make sure he would do nothing to betray that trust.

The sounds Negan made as he was fingered were utter sin and though he hid his face in Rick’s neck, he didn’t bother muffling the noises, which was just fine by Rick. Rick was pretty sure he could get off purely from listening to Negan’s moans and pants, but he wanted to give his partner what he wanted, so he forced his arousal to the back of his mind for the moment. Rick then let out a triumphant sound when he found Negan’s prostate, his lover’s body beginning to shake and his noises growing louder.

“Sweet boy, you know just how to fucking touch me..”

“Yeah? You ready for me?”

“Fucking fuck yeah, been ready since the day I fucking met you.” Negan moved, shifting his hips back until he felt Rick’s cock against his hole. It didn’t take much to slide back and sink down from there.

“Fucking fuckity fucking shit, you feel fucking awesome.” Negan seemed to be losing what little filter he had on his mouth.

“Shit, it’s like you were made for me.” Rick murmured, hips jerking involuntarily. Negan moaned as Rick’s dick slid deeper.

“Fuck yeah, just like that.” Negan purred, beginning to rock his hips, cock dragging against Rick’s stomach.

It took little effort for them to move in sync. It was almost easy, like they’d become so entwined with each other that they didn’t have to think about it, they already knew what to do as though it was muscle memory.

“Look at you..” Rick’s voice came out hoarse, lifting his hips to meet everyone of Negan’s moves, hands wrapped around the other man’s shoulders, keeping him close, showering him with kisses. “You look absolutely fucking magnificent. I bet you can cum just like this, can’t you? You love being filled so much you don’t even need a hand on your cock.”

“You got that right, sweet boy. Gonna cum from just your fat fucking cock.” Negan purred, eyes squeezed shut as he worked himself on Rick’s dick.

“I love this, love the way you look, love everything about you.” He settled their foreheads together again.

Negan’s breathing had picked up, grown unsteady and broken. He was gripping the sheets where his hands were planted on either side of Rick’s head.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Rick murmured, their lips brushing as he spoke. “You’re gonna cum so fucking hard, aren’t you?”

“F-Fucking fuck yeah I am..” Negan managed, his voice beginning to quiver and quake.

“Go on, Ne, cum all over us. Cum for your sweet boy.”

Negan let out a moan from deep in his chest, closing the small distance between them to kiss Rick, whining against his mouth. His hips stuttered to a stop as his body began to shake, muscles going tense for a brief moment before relaxing all at once as he came, spilling white between them. He immediately latched onto Rick, parting their lips before burying his face in Rick’s neck. The younger man shuddered beneath him, head falling back as he came hard, earning another groan from Negan as he spilled deep inside.

“Yes..fucking fuck yes, just like that..” Negan mumbled against Rick’s skin, unable to keep quiet even now. Rick continued to hold him, stroking down his back.

They came down together. Negan listened as Rick’s pounding heartbeat began to slow, stroking his fingertips over the boy’s collarbone.

Reluctantly, Rick shifted, uncoupling their bodies. Negan was unable to keep himself from clenching up, wanting to keep Rick’s essence inside him.

“You want me to eat that out of you? I can. Hell, I’d be happy to.”

Fucking fuckity fucking fuck. It was like Rick was reading his mind. Negan promptly let out a groan. “You’re gonna be the death of me. But yes, yes please, fucking eat your cum out of me.”

Rick was about to ask him to move, but Negan didn’t have to be told, he was already crawling off and spreading himself on his hands and knees, still panting softly from the exertion of their activities.

Rick hummed softly as he rose up onto his knees, stroking down Negan’s calves. His hands then moved up, parting Negan’s cheeks further, watching as the pretty hole in between began to leak. He was plenty happy to lean down and lap it up, tasting himself on his tongue. Negan responded with a pleased sigh, perfectly content with being at Rick’s mercy. He shivered as Rick’s tongue dipped inside him, stroking his walls. He made sure to get every bit Negan’s body was willing to give, placing a kiss against the pink entrance once he was finished.

Rick laid back down then, opening his arms for Negan to join him, which the other man did, wrapping his arms around Rick and nuzzling his cheek.

For a long stretch, they simply took in each other’s presence, contented and sated in every way. But, because Negan was Negan, he couldn’t keep his mouth closed for very long.

“Are you going to stay?” He asked quietly, fingers combing through Rick’s messy curls.

“As long as I am able. As long as you’ll have me.” Rick replied, turning his head to press a sweet kiss to Negan’s mouth.

“You can fucking stay forever if that’s what you want.” Negan realized he probably sounded like some lovestruck idiot but he wasn’t about to lie to Rick either.

“I honestly wish I could. If I didn’t have school, I’d gladly take you up on that offer.”

“It’s okay get it. School and all that shit, it’s fucking important.” Negan pressed a kiss to Rick’s forehead. “But does this mean that everything is okay? That we’re okay?”

Rick smiled softly, deep blue eyes meeting hazel. “We’re more than okay.”


End file.
